


Deep Thoughts Late at Night

by fan_fics_are_life



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentions of Suicide, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Wilbur Soot, Suicidal Thoughts, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, deep thoughts, existential thoughts, please tell me if i missed any important tags, this is basically a rant fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29661267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fan_fics_are_life/pseuds/fan_fics_are_life
Summary: Tommy is having some deep and sad thoughts, Wilbur is there to comfort him.DISCLAIMER: Please do not read if existential/deep and sad thoughts trigger you. Also there is a lot of talk about suicide and self-harm.It's basically a rant fic, I just used Tommy's character. I just needed to rant about my thoughts.Also this story is about their characters, not the content creators and if any of them say that they are uncomfortable with this stuff, I won't hesitate to take it down.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 4
Kudos: 117





	Deep Thoughts Late at Night

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if it isn't too good, English isn't my first language, it's late, I had a shitty day and I just wanted to rant. Feel free to criticise it in the comments.

Tommy sat in his room. It wasn’t unusual for him to sit in his room with all the lights turned off.

  
He sat on the floor next to his bed with his arms wrapped around his legs. For some reason it was one of the few things that brought him comfort in this horrible world. Of course he had his family, his loving father and brothers, but not even they could protect him from this world.

  
Tommy sat like this often. Thinking about the world and it’s things. It was scary. Because if you think about the world too much, everything will start to scare you.  
The world is a scary place and no one can run from it. Or maybe you can? If you cheat, take the easy ticket out of life. It’s almost the same thing as when you can’t complete a level in a video game so you just quit. But it’s real life.

  
Tommy didn’t like thinking about life and death, but quite honestly, he really couldn’t think about anything else most of the time. He wanted to get away. He just wanted peace.

  
He didn’t want to die because he’s life was shitty. He just couldn’t find anything worth living for. His family would be fine without him. Did they even actually want him? Phil just kinda adopted him but maybe he did it out of pity. It’s the pressure from the social norms, that you can’t leave a child out in the cold to die.

  
There’s the other thing. Pressure from social norms. People do everything because that’s how it’s supposed to be. When someone pours their heart out to you, you aren’t supposed to just be like “cool” and walk away. You are supposed to comfort them even if you don’t know what to do or even if you really don’t care about that person.

  
Tommy felt like everything in life rotates around lies and money. People do stuff to gain something. And that thought made him anxious. He never knew if people were being nice or were they trying to get something from him. Was there even someone in the world who would do something just to be nice?

Tommy hadn’t noticed that someone had said his name or that someone came into his room. He only noticed them when they sat onto the floor in front of him.

“Wilby?”

  
“Yea, Toms, I’m here.” Wilbur said softly.

  
“Will, what… What would you do if I suddenly died?” Tommy suddenly asked, but he kept his gaze on the floor, too scared to look Wilbur in the eyes.

  
“What? What are you talking about?” Wilbur looked at Tommy, confusion evident in his eyes, but Tommy still kept his eyes glued to the floor.

  
“Y’know, if I just suddenly died…What would you do?” Tommy looked up and met Wilbur’s eyes, but now there was also sadness accompanying confusion in there.

  
“Tommy, Toms, what’s wrong?” Damnit, was it so obvious? Was it really that obvious that even if he didn’t admit it, even to himself, he wasn’t okay? Was it so obvious that he really didn’t want to live anymore and he was alive just for his family.

  
“Ah, forget it, it’s nothing, probably just my teenage hormones.” Tommy tried to enlighten the mood with a joke and stand up, but he was stopped by Wibur’s hand, sitting him back down.

  
“Tommy, you know you can talk to me right? I don’t care if it’s ‘just your teenage hormones’, when you’re upset, you can come and talk to me, or Techno or dad. Just please, if you feel upset, talk to someone, please, Toms, I can’t lose you. I know how hard it can be and I don’t want you to feel lonely.”

  
Tommy looked at Wilbur for a long time. He saw that there were tears in his eyes. That was a weird thing. Whenever he thought about suicide or death, he never cried. He didn’t feel sad, he felt numb and empty. Whenever he dragged a blade across his leg or hand, he didn’t cry, he just looked at the blade numbly.

  
“Thank you, Will.” Tommy finally muttered, looking away from Wilbur’s eyes. Wilbur wasn’t supposed to worry about him. Wilbur’s life was a lot more complicated and hard, yet he still smiled everyday. So why was Tommy such a drama queen? Why did he make everyone worry about him?

  
“Of course, Tommy. And remember, I love you, Techno and Dad love you too so much. And we would be devastated if something happened to you. I hope you know that.” Wilbur spoke so softly, that it made Tommy feel even more guilty.

  
“I love you all too.” Tommy said awkwardly. He was never good with expressing his emotions.

  
“Do you want me to stay?” Wilbur asked. Tommy thought about that. He really wanted for Wilbur to stay, but did he deserve it? Didn’t Wilbur have more important things to do?

  
“Don’t you have anything important to do?” Tommy voiced his thoughts.

  
“I always have time for you, Toms.” Wilbur said and smiled at Tommy.

  
“Thank you, Wilbur.” Tommy said and smiled, and even if it wasn’t all the way real, it wasn’t all fake either. “I’m going to turn the lights on.” Tommy said and stood up. Wilbur just hummed in response.

  
“There we go.” Tommy said after he had turned the lights on. He turned around and saw that Wilbur was smiling. But not even a second later, his smile fell. He looked scared and sad. Tommy was confused, but before he could ask about it, he understood what had happened.

  
He looked down and his fear was confirmed. He was wearing a T-shirt, meaning that all the scars were visible.

  
Fuck.

  
Oh, fuck.

  
He had royally fucked up.

  
He expected for Wilbur to be angry and start shouting but all he heard was a soft “Oh, Toms.” and then he felt Wilbur’s long arms wrapping around him.  
Now Tommy felt how his eyes stung with tears.

  
“Why, Tommy?” Wilbur’s voice cracked, meaning that he was crying too. Fuck. Tommy hated making people cry. He didn’t think that he deserved someone's tears.  
He also had no idea how to answer his question. He didn’t have an exact reason why he had done it. It just felt like life was overwhelming and he needed to relieve it somehow.

  
“I...I don’t know.” He answered truthfully. He let his tears fall, there really was no point of holding them back anymore.

  
“It’s okay if you can’t voice your thoughts right now, Toms. But I want you to know that we get through this together. I will show you how incredible life can be and I will show you that it’s worth living. Even if it’s not okay right now, it will be okay in the future. We just have to hold on. I love you so so so goddamn much, you can’t even imagine how much I love you."

  
“I love you too.”

Honestly, Tommy didn’t know if Wilbur’s words were true, but right now, he really wanted to believe them.

**Author's Note:**

> If you feel like Tommy does in this fic, just know that there is help, and you shouldn't be afraid to seek it. Seeking help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strongness.


End file.
